Killing Me Softly
March 6, 2013 | Filed Under Girl-Scout | Comments Off
Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
Girlscout is home for Spring Break and it has been nothing but drama since she arrived… I did not sign up for this.
Right before she came home she called me from school and asked if she could visit an ex-boyfriend who is now a friend at his school which is about 2 hours away. I wasn’t crazy about it, because lately he’s been an ass to her and personally we would have to figure out the car situation, but I was open to it.
She then asked if she could spend the night with him.
“NO” – a little too fast and without thinking came from my mouth.
WHY? He’s not a boyfriend. He’s been an ass to her off and on for the past 6 months. She can yell “we are just friends” all she wants, then why the need to spend the night with a 21 year boy man?
After talking to Deputy, we both stood our ground that she may be an adult (19) and all that bull-honky crap but as long as she was under our home – we would not support her in spending the night. As I write this I realize where we went wrong. We told her that though we don’t agree with what she wants to do but if she wants to go she has to find her own way there. We prefer the boy to make the drive down here and take her back… and yes, the next day drive her back down again. If he wants to see her that bad, he has to make an effort for this to happen. Due to classes (he’s in college) and his gas guzzling truck he can’t do the trip. (silent “Woo-WOO!” from the parents) but that hasn’t stopped Girlscout from searching for bus schedules to go see him. I should have told her “n. o. our house. our rules. period.”
So for 2 hours tonight we have fought. Did I really raise a girl to chase after a boy to want to spend the night with him because they are just friends? I guess so. And because I told her that I think he’s an asshole right now not only for how he’s treated her in the past but because he won’t make any effort to help get her to him I’m the mean mom. I told her that once she’s making money and isn’t relying on us for allowance, food, clothing, medical and what not – then by golly, do whatever the hell you want that doesn’t require bail money, but right now? At this moment? We are doing all that we can to keep you safe. Trying to treat you like an adult, respect you and yet keep you as our little girl is not easy right now. And with that, we ask that you respect our rules, our thoughts and try to understand where we are coming from just as we are trying to understand you.
It’s not going too well and I’m failing miserably. If this is just a week… I don’t even want to deal with the summer.
Am I doing the right thing?