The ‘One Up’ Game
January 25, 2012 | Filed Under Grumble & Mumbles | Leave a Comment
I have a lot of stuff on my mind right now. I even thought about putting up a poll to see what you were interested in, but if I don’t get this off my chest… I’ll still sleep tonight and I’ll still be bugged about it but maybe I’ll get some relief from it.
Things I have learned over the past 6 months is this – when you preach the saying ‘you can never go back’ as in you can never go back to the way things are. If you talk the talk; walk the walk. And I didn’t. I begged to bring back on a developer I have adored over the years and for the past 3 months I walk in every day to work wishing he would quit. This whole paragraph is another post – but sums up my feelings right now towards him, because he thinks we are playing a game of “One Up” and I look back on it, I’m pretty sure I never jumped into play the game.
Maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m over-reacting. But every day I go into work and he tries to one up me and I don’t know why. I don’t go back and one up him. If anything, I listen to him talk non-stop for 10 minutes and nod and smile and say ‘yep’ and try to get my work done. But he does this to me every day and what gets me… he started this back in 2007!
So back in 2006, after I created my first Christmas card and I had 3 people come up to me and say “take our pictures and do our cards!”… I knew I had to find an outlet since my design skills at work were not in favor (I’ve been told many times my web skills suck) – lets not forget that I was already taking pictures and working on my photography skills before I even came to this company in 2006… so the fever was just starting. I can remember vividly when I came in one day in May saying I got a new camera for Mother’s Day and my developer friend telling me “…if I ever go back into photography, I would go all out. I would get the best of the best, but I’m not interested in that right now.” Low and behold, a month later he had a camera and 6 lenses.
One Up.
As I started to get better with my business each year, I had to hear all things he did (not once do I tell him how I’m doing, full time job is not the place to talk about part time job) – trips he took, shots that he got. On and on and on. Now. Don’t get me wrong. His work is amazing. His night photography is amazing and I’m jealous he can pull some amazing stuff off on his camera that I don’t even have the foggiest clue how to do. But he isn’t a fan of portrait photography so we don’t step on toes.
So after these past few years, I get him to come back in our office, we had an opening – I got him in and ever since, it’s this daily One Up competition thing he thinks he has to have with me. I got a new camera in 2011. Most photographers upgrade every 2 years, I upgraded in 4 year. Once again the “…I might get a new ‘used’ Nikon but I’m not sure…” and a week later after I got my new camera, he gets his. After he got his first huge commission a few weeks ago, he put money down on the new Nikon that releases next month.
One Up
One Up
I’m not jealous. Really. I’m not. It is just that every day I have to hear what he is buying now, where he is going on his next trip, his next shot, how he edits, and all I hear is “I have to better then you, better then you, better then you.” WHY? Is it freaking possible that I could be better then him and he’s jealous? Which I highly doubt.
I just don’t get it. And it’s not with the photography. I haven’t posted about it yet because I’m trying to get the right shot… but my wedding ring was fixed lately. After not wearing my wedding ring for 13 years… that even my own kids didn’t even know what it looked like, let alone knew I even had one… Deputy got it fixed for Christmas and that was my gift. I kid you not. I look at that ring all the time. It is so dang pretty. A chipped diamond fell out of the set and so when we got it fixed I asked if we could replace it with one of the kids birth stones. They then took another chip diamond from the other side and replaced it with another birth stone (thank God they were both born in February so it matches!!) and then Deputy upgraded the engagement diamond to a bigger stone. IT GORGEOUS!
I didn’t say much about at work, it’s been crazy there – but someone noticed and made a big deal about it. I KID YOU NOT… developer dude tried to one up me the next day. I can’t even remember what it was, but it was there. Even the web designer I work with instant message me “what the hell was that all about?” and that is when I started to put it together.
The thing is – I don’t remember wanting to play this game, I don’t even think I am in the middle of playing this game, but if he wants to play I think I can trump him. I have kids. He doesn’t. I have a happy marriage. He doesn’t.
Game Over.
